Thursday, January 15, 2009

The BARF Diet

...appropriately titled, I must say. My first batch for Chester should last a good while and make my fridge smell like cow poop. Awesome. But he will feel better for it, methinks, so it's totally worth it.

The BARF Diet



BARF = Biologically Appropriate Raw Foods, for the curious. Today, instead of working as I should have been, I spent the afternoon researching dog cancer diets and supplements to help improve life quality for a dog with cancer (who is or is not going through chemotherapy). I've pretty much decided to not put him through chemotherapy or radiation treatment, so if I can do things like this to help strengthen his immune system and possibly maybe slow down the spread of cancer even a tiny bit, of course I'm going to do it.

I opted not to drop $$$$$$ on the frozen patties and found different recipes online to make my own BARF slop for Chester (this is going to be so much fun to write about). It's going to cost much less than $$$$$$ if I do it myself, because I can pretty much buy food as I normally would, but a little more of it (and maybe a few things I wouldn't normally get for myself) and grind the extra food up for the dog. Plus, it's kind of fun...except for the tripe. Oooooh, the tripe. That doesn't smell great.

On a related note, I found a couple of holistic animal care places I'm looking into as an alternative to chemo/radiation. I know the holistic route is by no means going to cure him and won't be nearly as effective as the $$$$$$$$$$$$$ treatment, but there's no way I can afford that treatment. At the same time, there's no way I can sit back and do nothing. That leaves me squarely in the middle, doing research, making my own dog food, and considering trying things like acupuncture and herbal supplements on my dog.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dear diary:

BOB and I went on a date. He kissed my cheek. Such a a gentleman! Hopefully we will go to more sporting events together and get on a kiss cam one of these days. He is swell.

Dear diary:




(p.s. Bob is my friend Kit's boyfriend. This was not, in fact, a real date, but a post originally made here as a joke).

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

hoooray, hockey tickets!

So, tonight at trivia, Bruce had several tickets for tomorrow's Thrasher's game to give away. The first set he wanted to give away were 4 seats together, and his plan was to give the tickets to whichever team got the Thrashers-related question right. Well, we *and* our arch nemeses ("Lawyers, Guns, and Money") got the question right, so he gave our teams two tickets each. The four of us (Russ, Bob, Kit, and myself) discussed who would like to use the tickets, but it wasn't really much of a discussion, as Kit and Russ both wanted to go to the Graveyard tomorrow for swing dancing instead. So, it looks like Bob and I are finally going on our "date"! :D Hahaha!


Thrashers game, here we come!



...Our date with 4 middle-aged guys who consistently beat the crap out of us at trivia (because their team won a second set of tickets later). Awesome. :) I've been wanting to go to a Thrashers game forever, so I'm actually really looking forward to it.

hoooray, basketball tickets!

Hawks v. Suns tickets just arrived. Must magnet them immediately so I don't lose them in the various piles of crap that are slowly overtaking the place.

Hoooooray, birthday basketball tickets!

Monday, January 12, 2009

upcoming birthday goings on

Just a little list I'm compiling to keep track of stuff (because the whiteboard calendar can't possibly handle it all).

Friday (Jan 23rd):
Martinis & IMAX (woohoo! Martinis for dinner!)

Saturday (Jan 24th):
I don't know...brunch, maybe?
birthday party! (for which I need to find an oversized flannel shirt...or a prom dress)

Sunday (Jan 25th):
Birthday phone call from mom (which I have to figure out how to record so it can be shared with the world)
Belgian waffles?
Hawks v. Suns game with Chris

Other possible things to do while Chris is in town, depending upon how long he'll let me keep him here:
  • The Vortex for burgers

  • Agnes & Muriel's for other nummies

  • Indian food (Vatica, maybe? or Desi Spice? any other good ones I'm forgetting or don't know about? I'm keeping my eye on this post...)

  • Snow Mountain!! @ Stone Mountain

  • feed the ducks @ Piedmont

  • Martin Luther King, Jr. Center

  • trivia (as we didn't quite make it there last time)

  • King Tut? Jury is still out...

  • Animal encounter @ Chattahoochee Nature Center

  • Dialogue in the Dark

  • Norman Rockwell's Home for the Holidays @ Atlanta History Center

  • Outbreak: Plagues that Changed History/ The Work of Bryn Barnard @ CDC

  • Shakespeare Tavern (Romeo and Juliet)


  • I'm sure I'll find more stuff to add to the list, but for now...that'll do, pig. That'll do.

    Sunday, January 11, 2009

    i'm creeping up on old(er) age

    Two weeks from today, I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday, which wouldn't normally be a noteworthy year for a person. And really, it's not for me. It will mark the passing of my 30th year which, while not entirely terrible, was not without its major ups and downs. Okay, mostly downs, if we're being honest here. In fact, 30 was kind of like the gallbladder of all years--I am just so happy to be rid of the little sucker.

    I wonder if most women who hit 30 and decide to celebrate being 30 again (and again and again...) do so out of a sense of vanity, or a fear of getting older, which I just don't get. I'm happy to get older, mainly because I think the implication is that age begets wisdom and insight, which happen to be two of my favorite things. Also, I don't think I look any older than I did x number of years ago...but even if I do, what's so wrong with that?

    So, again I'm happy to be rid of 30, I just wish it hadn't been so...well, gross. And depressing. I know just about everyone reading this was there along the way, but in case any one of you cool kids should want a recap, here it is. The short, G-rated version for public consumption? This is pretty much how the year went:

    turned thirty
    went to therapy
    dad died
    freaked out
    job sucked
    freaked out some more
    marriage counseling
    moved out
    started recycling
    exercised my social bones
    got my bearings
    got divorced
    reconnected
    visited family
    recycled some more
    dog tumor
    best New Year's Eve in as long as I can remember
    caught a fish (though this was 2009)


    So, I have a message for the old and new years: Good riddance, jerkface! Well hello there, 2009! You look beautiful so far, despite Chester's cancer news*. As bad a year as 2008 was though, I have to say, it was also pretty liberating. There's nothing like stripping everything away to make a person stand up and take notice of her own life. Perhaps I should be a little more grateful, as I learned a lot about myself and what I need in order to be as happy, namely

  • A renewed sense of purpose and direction

  • More time with amazing friends, family, and other various and sundry characters

  • Writing

  • Self-discipline (health, writing, general life maintenance, budget/consumption)


  • I'm working on some goals to address the above list in the coming year, but I think I'll save them for a later post. This one's long enough as is.

    *Sigh. I know I've said it, but I'm really not ready to let go of him. Not sure I ever will be. I'm more attached to him than I ever have been to an animal (and rightly so, he's so heartbreakingly awesome), so it's going to be super tough. As Chris so wisely put it, though, at least this way, his passing won't be a surprise, but something I will have time to prepare for, whichever method of treatment I end up choosing next week at the fancy doggie chemo consultation.

    Saturday, January 10, 2009

    my life is so exciting, i could probably go to sleep.

    Saturday has consisted so far of:

    The Tudors
    Buddy snugglins
    eating (relatively healthfully)
    Lipstick Jungle, thanks to hulu.com (because the show is so bad, not even my DVR will record it when i ask it to)
    Intervention, while drinking a glass of wine (is that wrong?)

    ...but the kicker...

    bubble bath + same glass of wine from above + poetry (Carolyn Forché) + candles + music (Cat Power + Portishead) = could I be any more of a girl?

    A good bath always gives me much needed perspective. Maybe it's something about my ears being under the water, which drowns out everything else clouding my judgment, or at least serves as a buffer from it for a little while. While my ears were under, I came up with a list of things I need to do (or things I was beating myself up about):

    go back to the gym regularly, starting tomorrow (no greater motivation than taking a bath. Gross.)
    stop moping about the dog
    give the dog as much attention and affection as I can while I still can
    stop spending money (because maybe then I could afford doggie chemo)
    no more beer or wine
    eat less
    find a new job
    pick up the phone once in a while
    pick up a pen every day


    I ended up pouring half a glass of wine down the drain.

    Friday, January 9, 2009

    Buddy update

    Went to our regular vet today for staple removal, etc. Chester got a chest x-ray to see if his cancer has metastasized in his lungs. The vet pointed out some faint spots of something, and said that it may have spread slightly already, but those spots were so faint and uncharacteristic of cancer that it was difficult to say for certain.

    She referred me to a cancer specialist at nearby super-serious pet illness clinic, and we have an appointment next week for a chemotherapy consultation. Not sure yet if that's the route I'm going to take with him, but it's something to look into and think about, depending on how much time it would give him v. what quality of life he'd have while undergoing chemo and afterward. Also, it will largely depend on whether or not I can afford the treatment (which I hate to even raise as an issue, but it is one).

    So, there it is. Just some things to think about in the next several days.

    Wednesday, January 7, 2009

    Chester update

    Dr. Shippman, the vet who removed Chester's tumor while we were in Oklahoma, called yesterday with the histopathology results.

    It turns out, Buddy has a grade 3 mast cell tumor--the worst kind for him to have (grade 1 to grade 3). That is what we were all afraid of. She explained some of our options, but none of them sound great. Amputation, radiation, chemotherapy, etc., depending on how much it has already spread throughout his body. I'll be talking to the regular vet on Friday about those options when I take him in to get his staples removed.

    Needless to say, I'm taking the news badly. I know he's old (he'll be 10 in March), but I didn't think I'd have to start worrying about things like this just yet. I'm really not ready for it. I know he's just a dog, but he's my dog, and he has been for almost 10 years. I can't imagine not waking up to his cold, wet nose and old man grumblings, along with 800 other things I can't imagine. I know I'll have to imagine these things and get used to them, but it's a really hard thing to do while he's still here, curled up next to me. It's double-hard to sit here crying about it when he's trying to do his "cheering me up" thing he does every time I'm upset or crying about something.

    Mom and I were talking yesterday in the car (I was sitting in traffic when I got the news). I told her that I just wanted to make sure he was happy for whatever time he has left, whatever we decide to do treatment-wise. She said, "he's just happy when he's with you." So, I think this weekend, Buddy and I will take some walks, go on some car rides, and cuddle on the couch as much as possible. I just want him to be as comfortable and happy as he can be until it's time.

    It goes without saying that I'm almost ready to recant my statement about 2009 being a stellar year.