i'm creeping up on old(er) age

Two weeks from today, I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday, which wouldn't normally be a noteworthy year for a person. And really, it's not for me. It will mark the passing of my 30th year which, while not entirely terrible, was not without its major ups and downs. Okay, mostly downs, if we're being honest here. In fact, 30 was kind of like the gallbladder of all years--I am just so happy to be rid of the little sucker.

I wonder if most women who hit 30 and decide to celebrate being 30 again (and again and again...) do so out of a sense of vanity, or a fear of getting older, which I just don't get. I'm happy to get older, mainly because I think the implication is that age begets wisdom and insight, which happen to be two of my favorite things. Also, I don't think I look any older than I did x number of years ago...but even if I do, what's so wrong with that?

So, again I'm happy to be rid of 30, I just wish it hadn't been so...well, gross. And depressing. I know just about everyone reading this was there along the way, but in case any one of you cool kids should want a recap, here it is. The short, G-rated version for public consumption? This is pretty much how the year went:

turned thirty
went to therapy
dad died
freaked out
job sucked
freaked out some more
marriage counseling
moved out
started recycling
exercised my social bones
got my bearings
got divorced
reconnected
visited family
recycled some more
dog tumor
best New Year's Eve in as long as I can remember
caught a fish (though this was 2009)


So, I have a message for the old and new years: Good riddance, jerkface! Well hello there, 2009! You look beautiful so far, despite Chester's cancer news*. As bad a year as 2008 was though, I have to say, it was also pretty liberating. There's nothing like stripping everything away to make a person stand up and take notice of her own life. Perhaps I should be a little more grateful, as I learned a lot about myself and what I need in order to be as happy, namely

A renewed sense of purpose and direction

More time with amazing friends, family, and other various and sundry characters

Writing

Self-discipline (health, writing, general life maintenance, budget/consumption)

I'm working on some goals to address the above list in the coming year, but I think I'll save them for a later post. This one's long enough as is.

*Sigh. I know I've said it, but I'm really not ready to let go of him. Not sure I ever will be. I'm more attached to him than I ever have been to an animal (and rightly so, he's so heartbreakingly awesome), so it's going to be super tough. As Chris so wisely put it, though, at least this way, his passing won't be a surprise, but something I will have time to prepare for, whichever method of treatment I end up choosing next week at the fancy doggie chemo consultation.